Add It Up

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smiles and scars
i love
exponentially
it fills me up sometimes--
a helium heart
and then
i fall face-plant
beneath its weight

i love
it is a flood
and awash
strong wind in my sails
and the stormiest
sea

it means
patience
and kindness and
compassion
giving and
giving
and,
giving and
i pray,
selflessly

i love
but how come love
for me
mean always letting go
and never getting
together
to be?